Motivation is on Break: Time to Do the Work Yourself!

Let’s talk about motivation. It’s that elusive, almost mythical thing that we keep waiting for, hoping it will swoop in one day and finally inspire us to go after our goals. The common belief is that it’s the missing link between where we are and where we want to be. But what if I told you that motivation is overrated? Yes, you read that right. In fact, I’d go as far as to say that waiting for motivation is one of the biggest reasons we get stuck in life.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying motivation is useless. It has its place. It’s what helps marathon runners cross the finish line and musicians keep practicing until they master their craft. But as a psychotherapist, I see so many people waiting for motivation like it’s some kind of magical spark that will suddenly ignite their willpower and get them moving. And guess what? That’s a flawed concept.

What Exactly is Motivation?

By definition, motivation is a state or feeling that compels us to take action toward a goal. It’s a boost, a push, a burst of energy that says, “Go do the thing!” Sounds great, right? But here’s the problem: motivation is a fickle friend. It comes and goes, and it’s almost never around when you really need it. The truth is, most of us don’t struggle because we lack motivation. We struggle because we’re waiting for it to show up before we take action.

So, if motivation isn’t what really drives us, what is?

The Real Reason We Don’t Take Action

Our brains are wired for survival, not for taking risks or chasing after our dreams. From an evolutionary perspective, we’re designed to avoid anything that feels uncomfortable, risky, or downright scary. This is why stepping out of your comfort zone feels more like walking into a lion’s den than a step toward a better life. Your brain wants to keep you safe and snug, so it throws up resistance to change in the form of excuses, procrastination, and (yes) a sudden, profound lack of motivation.

Here’s a scenario: You’ve been dreaming about starting your own business. You’ve read all the articles, listened to all the podcasts, and told yourself that one day you’ll take the leap. But there’s one tiny problem—you’re waiting for that rush of motivation to get started. Every day you wake up and think, “Today’s the day… no, wait, tomorrow. Definitely tomorrow.” Sound familiar?

Or maybe you’re trying to make health changes, like eating better or exercising more. You say you’ll start once you feel a bit more motivated. But days, weeks, and months go by, and it turns out Netflix and a pint of ice cream were a lot more enticing than a green smoothie and a 5K run. Because, deep down, your mind is whispering, “That sounds uncomfortable. Why don’t we just stay here on the couch where it’s safe?”

It’s not about lacking motivation—it’s about your mind’s natural tendency to hesitate when faced with uncertainty or discomfort. This is why relying on motivation is the quickest way to procrastination. But procrastination deserves its own spotlight—I’ll tackle that in a follow-up blog.

The Power of Taking Action: My Story

I’m not just saying this to sound convincing—I’ve lived it. When I first considered starting my own private practice, I had about a million reasons not to do it. Let me paint the picture for you: I knew nothing about running a business. I didn’t know about estimated taxes, insurance panels, billing procedures, or even the documents I needed to draft for clients. I was basically swimming in a sea of legal and administrative jargon that might as well have been written in ancient hieroglyphics.

Honestly, I could have waited until I felt confident and motivated. I could have sat around, telling myself, “I’ll start once I really understand the difference between a 1099 and W-2.” (Spoiler alert: I still Google it from time to time.) But the truth is, that motivation to feel “ready” wasn’t coming anytime soon. So, instead of waiting for that magical push, I took action without it.

My strategy? I started by joining Facebook groups for therapists who were already in the private practice game. I read through their posts, absorbing their advice like a sponge. I signed up for courses on everything from billing to insurance, and I sought out every colleague I could find to ask about their experience. I took one small step, then another, and another—until, little by little, I pieced together a system that worked.

And here I am. I didn’t have a wave of motivation pushing me forward; what I did have was a desire to figure it out, one messy step at a time.

You see, hesitation is the real enemy here. The moment we start hesitating, we give our brains time to talk us out of action. It’s like giving your inner critic a megaphone and inviting it to derail your best intentions. What most people don’t realize is that hesitation is actually a habit, and like any habit, it can be broken. But to break it, we need to get comfortable with taking tiny actions—especially when motivation is nowhere to be found.

Breaking the Habit of Hesitation

What if I told you that your life can change with the smallest of choices? Taking that first tiny step, no matter how insignificant it may seem, disrupts the pattern of hesitation and sends a signal to your brain that says, “Hey, we’re doing this.” You don’t need to run a marathon to start a health journey; you can take a walk around the block. You don’t have to quit your job to explore entrepreneurship; you can spend 15 minutes researching your idea. It’s the small, almost laughably simple decisions that lay the groundwork for bigger changes.

I often educate my clients on this concept in sessions: You don’t need motivation to take action. What you need is a willingness to act despite feeling unmotivated. Here’s the thing: the more you act, the more your brain adapts. You build momentum, and eventually, the actions themselves create a kind of self-sustaining energy that makes motivation irrelevant.

Why Action Beats Motivation Every Time

You might be thinking, “But if I don’t feel like it, how can I possibly start?” Here’s the secret: you start by making it so easy that it’s harder to say no. Start by taking one tiny action. If you want to exercise, commit to 5 minutes of stretching. Just 5 minutes! If you’re trying to speak up more in meetings, start by making one comment or asking one question. The goal is to trick your brain into seeing the task as so small and manageable that hesitation doesn’t even get a chance to speak up.

It’s like building a muscle. The more you practice acting without waiting for motivation, the more your brain learns to respond with action instead of hesitation. You create a new habit loop, and guess what? Motivation starts to show up after you’ve taken action, not before.

Practical Tips for Taking Action Without Motivation

1. Shrink the Task: Make the action so tiny that it feels almost ridiculous not to do it. If you’re avoiding a big project, commit to working on it for just 10 minutes. Once you start, you’ll often find it easier to keep going.
2. Count Down and Go: Use the “5-Second Rule” by Mel Robbins. The moment you feel hesitation, count down from 5 and move. This prevents your brain from slipping into procrastination mode.
3. Create a Ritual: Pair the action with something enjoyable. If you’re dreading a workout, play your favorite playlist while you get ready. This tricks your brain into associating the action with something positive.
4. Use Visual Cues: Leave your running shoes by the door or keep a notebook in your bag if you want to start writing more. Seeing the cue reminds your brain, “This is what we’re doing.”
5. Remind Yourself of the Bigger Why: When you don’t feel like doing something, reconnect with your deeper reasons for wanting change. But don’t wait for the feeling to show up—act first, reflect later.

Motivation is a Byproduct, Not a Prerequisite

The truth is, motivation isn’t what makes us change; action is. The more we practice taking tiny steps in the direction we want to go, the more momentum we build, and that momentum eventually generates a sense of motivation. It’s like a bonus, not the starting point.

So, the next time you find yourself waiting for that magical spark of motivation to get started, remember this: you don’t need it. You just need to be willing to take one small step—right now, in this moment. Because ultimately, action is what shapes your life, not how motivated you felt when you started.